NI vs. ROI

It’s time to think about me and my benefits which would be better off, Northern Ireland or over the border.  I did get to speak with a benefits adviser at the Dove House which the woman came up to the homeless where my friend Lorraine works at (and I used to work at when I lived in Derry back in the 90s).

I did tell her my situation and the death of Craig and what I should do?  I really would like to move to Derry to be closer to the family.  But she told me like it is with Universal Credit and how its pretty much shit.  Nobody likes it.  She also told me that I would be loosing out of benefits here in Derry and would be better off over the border.

So Republic Of Ireland it is then.   I will be looking at three locations which are Killea, Bridgend, and Muff.

I had looked at apartment in Killea which is 5 minutes away from Foyle Street.  Uncle Joe took me to check it out.  He noticed there are cameras around the apartments outside.  I didn’t notice that.  I applied for the apartment immediately and now its a matter of waiting.  I really hope to get it because it would ease my mind a bit.

I have to move forward without Craig.  It’s the only way to heal for me.

Craig’s brother meet up

Craig’s brother Jon was in town for a day to pick up Craig’s ashes and bring back with him to Oregon where he will be spread at Nestucca River (Pacific City) at his final resting place.

We both decided to meet up that morning at 8.30am before his departure from Belfast that afternoon. Jon stayed at Shipquay Hotel. I figured it was the right thing to do to meet up with Jon and shake the hands of Craig’s brother.  My uncle Joe and uncle Jim came with me for support.  Turns out he was a really nice guy and very respected.  We must had all talked about a good hour when he had to go.  I started to get emotional in front of Jon and he knew my heart was broken.  I held his hand with both hands.  He patted me on the back that everything will be fine and he would take care of everything and make sure that he takes pictures of Craig’s final resting place.

I”m moving again

Since Craig’s passing away, I figured to move back to Derry, Northern Ireland since there is nothing else for me in Letterkenny.  There were memories in that apartment and that location so I think it is best to move to Derry to be close with my family and some of my friends as well.

At the moment while my uncle Joe and I are sorting Craig’s stuff out and then work on myself I have been staying with my aunt Maggie. She was happy to have me with her.  I will stay here until I get my head straight and also sorted out and then I could move into apartment of my own.

RIP my beautiful Husband Craig

It’s been a while since I had used this blog. I had bad news from Galway.   My beautiful husband Craig had passed away Tuesday morning 18th December 2018.  I am having a hard time moving forward and living without him now.  I’m very much heartbroken because I have been taking care of him basically for the 11 years we have been together.  I was going to view a house in Killea (Ireland) and after the viewing (it was raining out too) I got the call from Galway hospital since he was going down there to get a stent put in.  He wasn’t feeling well and kept going in and out of consciousness and then his heart stopped.  They used CPR for 50 minutes and then stopped.

I called a couple of my aunts because I was heading back at home in letterkenny.  I didn’t know what to do either go Letterkenny or Derry to be with family and friends.  So I chosen Derry because I didn’t want to be alone. I called my friend Lorraine who I used to work with back in the 90s and told her what happened.  She immediately called for a taxi and told me to come straight over to her work.

I was too upset because Craig was the love of my life and I couldn’t believe that he is gone.  I tried getting in touch with family because they were ones I could turn to.  But I couldn’t get in touch with any of them until I made contact with my uncle Joe D.

I was so confused and didn’t know what to do.  Joe helped me a lot through this hard time I am going through and he is still helping me out for what he could.  He is a life saver.

I was going through Craig’s ipad and saw his last picture that he had taken of him in the hospital 4 days before his death.

I don’t think i will get over this and over him.  He is always on my mind, but I know he would want me to move forward without him and be happy to continue my life so I am trying to do it and be happy and do this for him.  He never liked me to be sad so I have to be strong.

I'm in Galway

Not where I want to be right now but I had to come down to Galway because Craig wasn't feeling the best since he has been in Galway University Hospital for the past 2 1/2 weeks now, and I have been here for a week.   I was suppose to go home in the morning and check out of the B&B because the funds are all gone from our savings on this trip.  I then got a message from Craig that he got in touch with infection disease and she called the social worker and wanted to meet up with me first thing in the morning.

In front of the Abbey Lodge Bed & Breakfast

I have to see what will happens with this social worker and what they could do in order for me to stay with Craig for Emergency Accommodation.  

Binx is missing

I got pre occupied with going back and forth to the hospital for a week when I realized that the neighbor's cat stopped coming around.  I wasn't sure what or where he was because he is always at our kitchen window looking to get in for food and sleep.

I bumped in to my neighbor (Paddy) next door where Binx always goes to as well and asked him if he had seen Binx around because I haven't seen him in a week.  He was wondering about the same thing.  Binx little play mate went into Paddy's back door which was opened and looking for Binx.  It is kind of sad because they played around all the time, and now Binx is gone.

Paddy did tell me a couple of stories about Binx that one time Binx was gone for a whole month and came back to the neighborhood.  Another time Paddy and his dog was going to the tore and Binx followed them up a mile up to the nearest store and then back again.  

 I think Paddy was to go over to the neighbor and asked about Binx but I still have to see Paddy about it.    I sure do miss the little guy coming around because he helped with my depression.  It was fun to see him around.  I also watched him play with his toys which was bottle caps and milk rings.  

A day out in the car

A few weeks ago my aunt Ann and uncle Jim came over and took Craig and me for a run in their car up to Ramelton, past Rathmullan, up to Port Salon and around back home again.  We did stop by in front of someone's house down the path where we parked and had some sandwiches and some tea.  It was a beautiful sunny day and it was a nice drive around.  When we were returning home, we stopped by and got ourselves a poke ice cream which we always get when going out for a drive.