A message from New York

I always enjoyed seeing my aunt Ann & Jim. They always made me feel safe, of course all my family made me feel safe. Uncle Jim wanted to see me up the stairs and I really wasn't sure what he wanted and it made me curious. So I ran upstairs and he didn't know how to tell me what he was going to tell me. It was definitely bad news from the looks of his face.  The only way for him to say it to me is just say it. It was my brother's daughter. She had died at age 4. It was sort of weird because I just saw her that past Christmas too.  I didn't know the full story but it lead my brother in jail which is a concern wondering if he will be okay in there.

I wanted to hit Jim for saying such thing as I didn't want to believe it.  I didn't know how to take it, but my legs collapsed to the floor, kneeling in front of Uncle Jim. He helped me up from the floor. I felt weird and I started to walk down the stairs and heading my way out the back door slowly as if I was in a daze, and that was what I was, in a daze. I didn't know where I was going but I wanted to get out of the house.

I felt the need to go over there but after everybody was talking and discussing about it because they were going to bunch in and send me over to New York, and they decided that I should stay rather than go back to New York to see the family and my niece. They told me that it would be better if I stayed and think of the way she was. Perhaps they were right. Actually, they were right because I don't think I would be able to handle seeing her little coffin.  I was told that she looked like a little angel and I guess that's what she was - an Angel.

There was a stuffed animal (BarBar) which my mother sent over to me. I always had it on my bed to feel closer to her. I actually smelled my neice through the stuffed animal. So I kind of felt closer to her.

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